Archive for September, 2012

A Listening Ear……

The beauty of listening




One of the things i love doing is taking part in group discussions on affection and happiness. It is truly deeply rewarding. It is awesome how much learning happens during these sessions when we listen intensely both to ourselves and to the intimate confessions of others. Last week, i spoke with one of my personal mentors and he analysed how human beings face challenges in focusing attention. It’s amazing to note that practically all relationship books contain a communication segment. Solid relationships are built on communication. However, one important aspect of communication which we tend to over look is LISTENING? Effective communication begins from having the same language of communication. It’s also not easy to be able to calm a troubled mind in order to absorb information despite noise and interruption from the surroundings. In addition, trying to figure out answers while a person is still speaking is a distraction. During this past weekend, on saturday around 2:30pm,  my older sister was settled in front of the tvwatching her suspense movie, when there was a knock on the door and her friend w alked in without her husband (this was strage because they always visited together). After exchange of greetings,  the lady started a conversation about how  her husband was out of town for a training.  To her utmost shock,when the movie ended, my sister turned  turned to her and asked why she didn’t come with her husband as usual.  She had to repeat the whole story.  Listening is not only limited to spoken words, but also involves emotional listening. To be a good listener, you must pay attention to eye contact, facial expressions, voice and all necessary gestures. Always note that right listening leads to accurate response.


I Love children,I have always loved children since I was a child. In short, I practically begged my Mom to have another child after me. Well, that was many years ago. ImageToday, I see that what I saw when I was younger was only the cute face, that nice soft baby smell, their cute clothes, and all the fun things you can do with them before their mothers take them away. Up until, the 28 of January 2009,my constant gag and longing to have kids around me was crazy. I was so excited when my sister was pregnant and to top that, she was having TWINS!!..I was so pleased. As due, she put to birth that fateful day, and that’s when my job began… As everyone expected the most of me owing to my constant bragging about my skills in child care. I was therefore put in charge fully. I fed,was thrown up on, changed, washed, sang, put to bed.I would wake up when they did because I didn’t want their mother to be stressed in any way. Up until they were three months old, these were the only things I did. But all that changed because the Mother had to resume work and then I became a ‘Teenage Virgin Mother’. Of course, I lost some weight and learned that life and kids weren’t the way I viewed them.


Anyway, they are both three years old now, and I can proudly say I have taken care of two others, born in September 2011 and January 2012,and in the process; lost a whole lot of weight, gained some arm muscle, increased my pain threshold for baby slaps, earring grabs, cheek pinch, pee on the face, vomiting on my body,biting, screaming,crying and of recent learned how to withstand a painful nipple pinch!.


Well, what can I say, God finally answered my prayers. But this blessing is a little too much!!.




P.S I still love children..


xo:sticky fingersImageIGImage!!ImageImageImageImageImageImage



ImageDo you really know Spongebob?, Of course, I’m aware that you know him; the yellow sponge with his friend Patrick, and of recent times the new fashion face. But what I actually mean is if you know spongebob on a well thought out basis. Ever since I was younger, I always watched spongebob with excitement at Patrick’s stupidity and the way Spongebob got everyone pissed of. Recently as I watched I realised a few things about Spongebob;
     First of all, have you actually realised that spongebob is actually a very hard working guy. He loves his job so much and makes it his number 1 priority. The episode where his cousin came to visit was  very enlightening, we saw how dedicated he is to his job, how very serious he takes making ‘Krabby pattys’ and even before he put on his chef cap, he recited some mumbo jumbo about the cap being a symbol of intergrity. Image
      Ever noticed that spongebob is  Mr know-it-all. That’s the main reason why he gets on everyone’s nerves especially squidward!.. He is very knowledgeable and ensures that he knows every and can do everything. Despise squidward’s hateful words and people always telling him ‘Don’t touch anything!’ he still goes ahead to do what he dims fit….and more times than not, it ends up disastrous!!, but he does it nevertheless.
       Great friend, Son and lover! Patrick is a complete idiot! And it’s a wonder that someone can tolerate such a useless star fish. But not a task too hard for Spongebob, he loves and cherishes his relationship with Patrick and got really sad in the episode were he and Patrick had to split ways . He kept on watching Patrick and feeling awful while Patrick seemed completely oblivious of what was going on between them both. Spongebob actually believes that he and Squidward have a somewhat type of friendship which he equally respects. He showed a typical gentlemanly nature while he was with Krabs’ daughter. Even when his parents came around he was loving and respectful. Image
       And he’s so organised and neat. Remember when that one-eyed guy went into his brain just so he could get the ‘crabby patty’s secret recipe’? he found sponebob’s brain so organised, everything, thoughts, dreams, and the rest of it all had sections…or was it when Spongebob had to share a cabinet with Squidward, how he arranged everything into cabinets..
      Finally, who wouldn’t love Spongebob, always in his square pants, white shirt and neck tie. He is so cute with all the faces he makes, they always crank me up!, And most of all, he’s always ready to help and he’s a good person at heart. So before you sit to laugh unceasingly during the cartoon or before you wear that spongebob Tshirt know this as irrelevant as it is just a cartoon is also as much we have to learn and emulate from the ever unbearable Spongebob SquarePants!
                                                                                                         xo;sticky fingersImage

1: Be Real.
2: Be Independent And Responsible.
3: Treat Others The Way You Would Want To Be Treated. Be Considerate.
4: Do Not Insult, Gossip or Slander People Unnecessarily.
5: Be Knowledgeable, Aware, Willing To Learn and Open To Personal Development.
6: Choose Your Friends.
7: Choose Your Words; Know When To Talk And When Not To.
8: Define Yourself Always With A Neat And Dignifying Outfit.
9: Avoid Desperate Behaviour. Know When To Ask For Help.
10: Avoid Getting Caught Up With Trends. Create Your Own Persona.


                                                                                                                  xo; sticky fingers


I was watching a programme early this morning that  had to do with eliminating idolatry by Pastor Mark Driscoll. For obvious reasons, I assumed this talk was concerned with worshipping idols, black magic et al. But he talked about Sex. And I was strongly inspired by his talk.
           Church and religion aside, Sex is supposed to be between one man and one woman. We know this, The African culture and tradition forbids sex before marriage, but due to western impact it is seen as old fashioned and unreasonable. Why does this seem so?.. Those old fashioned traditionalists had reasons to believe that sex before marriage was wrong because of the unending consequences which include unplanned pregnancy, physical injuries (because the young ones may not be able to do it well), diseases, future condemnation. We have heard the stories time without number, we have seen it happen in front of our eyes but still we still get that pull to continue to go behind backs and continue to have unjustified sex. This were the religious aspect comes in.
 Sex is deeply spiritual. First, we have to remember that sex involves the ‘body’ or ‘bodies’. What did Jesus sacrifice for our sins? His Body. So you see, sex is a sacrifice of the body for a cause which is procreation. But when it is for other purposes such as plain pleasure without being in that sacred commitment called ‘marriage’, it becomes idolatry. Idolatry in the sense that you now offer your  body as the sacrifice and the second person becomes the ‘god’ to whom you offer the sacrifice to. Because we defy God’s commandment (Do not commit fornication or adultery) we put Him second in our life and put sex as the number 1, as your ‘god’ and the sacrifice you continually offer to it is your body. Thinking about it, sex is not the one getting these sacrifices, No, this is the devil’s own. Let’s remember that as fornication and adultery  are sins, they are now tools of the devil and he uses this freely on human beings to trap us and try to disperse us from God’s blessings. Another great tool that the devil also uses is Pornography. This is so common among the youth of today. It is seen as normal to watch Porn and it doesn’t feel wrong to do this. Lets realise that what we  watch, read, see, fills up or minds, thereby leaving little or no space left for God, The Author of Our Lives. All these as we know can see are the designs of the devil just to constantly distract us from God. 
   I hope with this little opinion based write up you can see reasons with the old fashioned and decide who you want to serve, God or Sex. Remember, Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.


So I’ve been having this twitter crush for quite some time now. His avatars are always so cute. I even remember the first time we met on twitter. I tweeted ‘Its far better to be alone than to be in a relationship  than to be in an abusive relationship’, he RT’d it. So I decided to check his profile, funny enough I noticed that he tweeted the exact same thing and was now getting a whole lot of mentions (how annoying!!). So I sent him a DM ‘Hey, You stole my tweet!’ ‘Lol’ he replied, ‘I’m sorry, I just thought it was a nice tweet’.. Hmmmmm, Maybe because he had over 2000 followers , I thought it was ok for him to ‘steal my tweet’. Anyway, it didn’t end there, he tweeted at me ‘#nf @spanish_Jane #kfb’ I was actually excited to have him as my 211th follower!..I checked out his bio….impressive and his avi was so cute, he had this ‘fine boy feeling fresh’ look…and ever since that day I stalked him, his tweets, his avatars (I saved some of his pictures), and I even stalked his female followers, those ones he called ‘hun’, and the rest. Well, I guessed things were working in my favour because one day he asked for my pin to add me to his chat group which I did immediately….and you know the rest, he ‘set p’ actively and before you could say Jack Robinson, we were always calling each other and midnight texting. I was estatic the day we were finally supposed to meet. You see he stays in Ajah and I stay in Yaba so distance was a barrier, but finally that day, we decided to meet at Ooh La Lah .I got there quite early since it was closer to me and waited quietly while I kept on texting him to hurry. I was so excited my legs were shaking, finally he texted me that he was there, I kept my eyes fixed to the door, watching people walking in and out, I sighed as I  watched a very dark boy with badly matched clothes, trying to look like Wizkid I guessed, I shook my head and looked at my phone again. I called him this time. Where are you, joor?! . ‘I’m already inside’ came Emeka’s reply. At that moment, I started looking around hastily, my heart was racing with expectation. ‘Hang up, I think I’ve seen you..’ he said finally. I sat down and put on the cutest face ever. Just then, Wizkid wanna-be came to my table with a smile, my heart was beating so fast, ‘Hi’ he said… everything was happening so fast I could hardly breathe.. ‘Hi Jane,’ he said again’Its so good to finally see you!’. The wave of disappointment washed over me as if some one poured ice cold water on me. ‘ You don’t look like your pictures’ I finally managed to say.. He laughed, revealing a set of brown teeth, at that sight I lost my appetite for two days straight ‘Well, most of my pictures are mainly my cousin’s, but sometimes I use my picture, like my dp of last night was my picture, don’t you remember?’.. Yes I remembered, I thought it was your ugly friend!!…’Oh?’ was the only thing I could say.. He tried to hug me but I opted for a handshake while I looked around and hoped that none knew me there.
      Well as you would guess, the ‘date’ ended quite early because I was tired of listening to all his gbagauns and his mallam perfume was choking me. I got home and narrated my story to my sister who still laughs at me till today. I guessed it served me right. I and Emeka still gist sometimes on twitter, I think he got the message, he still uses his cute cousin’s pictures as his avatar. I’m sure he has lots of ‘twives’ (twitter wives). I wish they all knew that his avatar  looks nothing like him.. Absolutely no resemblance with the real person!.

From My Diary… 22.07.12

Emotions Taking Over Me

Caught Up With Sorrow

Memories Of  The Past

Fear Of The Future

Afraid Of The Unknown

Haunted By Knowledge

Unspoken Words

Anger That Doesn’t Cross The Eyes

Joy That Keeps Me Awake

Excitement That Is Being Bottled Up

Tears Not Allowed To Flow

Inspiration That Ends Too Quickly

Truth Hidden In Words

Blindfolded To The Facts

Coaxed To The Bandwagon

Making More Enemies Than Friends

Hating And Disbelieving The Obvious

Trying To Differentiate


How to love Igbo things (or what you will).

Maka ihu n'anya ihe Igbo n'ile na ihe ndi ozo di iche n'iche.

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