Category: Read-A-Story


No Title…

I can’t sleep.

I feel like writing.
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HER:

I love him so much. I wonder if he knows. Did I offend him?. He has not looked at me since I got back!. Watching TV without a glance at me!. Why won’t he look at me?!. He says he’s not hungry, ‘The beer would do’. Maybe he has a sidechick! I wonder what they do together. Oh God!. He doesn’t care about merely anymore!. Everything was fine this morning!.Is this about his call I missed? I texted him back!. He just keeps staring at the TV. What kind of husband will he be if he detests me now just for coming home late?. Does he still love me?. Maybe he wants to break up with me! And he’s giving me the silent treatment first!. I thought we were going to get married, have four kids, build houses together, adopt 2 orphans from Somalia, own companies together, spend our retirement in The Dominican Republic, die the same day, and be buried beside each other!. Why does he hate me so much? Am I not good enough for him?. If he wants to break up with me, he should do it now!. He’ll crush my world!. What can I do if he doesn’t love me anymore?….

HIM:
Man U- Chelsea
3-0
Go reds!!!

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Guys get pretty annoying when they are watching soccer sha!

OWAMBE!!!!

Saturdays are my favourite days , not just because its the weekend, but also because of  the numerous weddings that take place in lagos on this great day, the countless number of  happy people hopping around in thier colourful aso-ebi, the  road block on less busy streets, the blaring of music from loud speakers and the overall jolly  surrondings all make saturdays quite special. . Well yesterday was another saturday., and I’ll tell you how it went down at one of the Owambe parties.jjjjj

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I slept right through the church ceremony!. Yawning visibly as the couple recited thier vows. Not like I did it purposely, I could hardly concentrate on any part of the event because a raging hunger was drilling a hole in my stomach. I’m not one to show how hungry I am in public,no matter how bad, but for the past few days, the closest I’d come to good food was a bowl of  garri without sugar! And that was two days ago!!. There comes a time when you just get entirely broke in school and there’s just no escape route to avert hunger!! I’ve been there more than humanly possible, that’s why today I decided to follow my friend, Bidemi for a wedding. I was not invited, No, but was my friend invited either?.. Technically, yes, but reasonably no, hell no!. Her brother’s girlfriend’s aunty’s friend’s sister’s husband’s colleage at work was the person that baked the wedding cake!. At least, Bidemi was putting on the wedding colours, I on the other hand looked completely lost, putting on a trench coat with mismatched pants. Yes! I know I was looking extremely riddiculous, in short hideous is a better adjective, but what can I say, early morning hunger has a lot of side effects; blurry vision, colour blindness, dry mouth, fidgetting, did I mention blurry vision?. So there I sat, lost in this crowd of happy poeple, my stomach growling like an injured dog. Hour after hour I relied on the sour heated saliva coming out of my mouth while the worms in my stomach kept on roistering about and I was almost running out of spit, so you can imagine my relief when the pastor finally said “I now pronounce you husband and wife”. I was so happy that I screamed “Let somebody shout Alleluia!!!”, everybody turned and must have guessed I was a close aquintance of the newly weds.

Through the bustle and rush, geles and agbada, I sped off quickly and hijacked a seat at the forefront in the reception hall. Mehn! Dulling is a sin oh!. Gracefully but impatiently waiting for the event to kick off.  For some minutes, there was a slight confusion from the high table, followed by a scurry of guests and then the M.C announced something which I did not hear (You see, In my bid to get a front row seat, I had to bench down near the amplifier which was almost getting me deaf!). The annoucement had incited the geles and agbadas to move and turn their chairs in the opposite direction. Before I could realise the change of the sitting arrangement, I was seated at the back of the boisterious crowd!…

😀

(To be continued )

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confessions of a lagos call girl

ALL THAT GLITTERS….

 

Four years ago, I was an undergraduate like most of these hot bloods around, young, fresh, having the best. living life to the full, clothes, shoes, make-up, hair, I had everything any girl my age would have ever wanted!.. And by any girl, I speak in particular reference to my roommate , Tosin. Tosin was an average girl from an average family, She had nothing to worry about but she made me her center cause of worry!. She just needed to have everything I had. Ha! I remember when I got my tattoo, she did everything in her might to get herself one too!!. Luckily for her, she got a temporary tattoo, because I heard her mother beat her to a pulp when she saw it.

Tosin!!. She made my last year in school fun. Always hounding me!. “Where did you buy that bag?, How much are the shoes?”. Tosin’s unfortunate boyfriend (now her husband!) She pressured the guy so much, I’m sure he started getting grey hairs!. “Look Caroline’s boyfriend bought her a Bold 2”, “We are still jumping cab when Caro’s boyfriend gave her his Camry!’ She would nag and nag!. I wish she knew I had more than one boyfriend giving me things. Then, all my roommates thought Alaska (if you still don’t know who Alaka is, you’re on a long thing o! My manager!!) was my boyfriend.

 

Anyway, three years went by like seconds, I graduated with a ‘pass’ (those bloody lecturers!) and Tosin graduated with a 2.1. We parted ways and I had never seen her again, till I saw her last Monday. Saw her in boutique. We exchanged pleasantries, normal stuff, but I could see her sizing me up, like she used to do back then in school; checking my jewellery, checking my dress, totally checking me out. I’m sure she delayed just so she could see my car!, Typical of Tosin!. Finally, before I left she said “Girl, you’re enjoying oh!, look at all you have accomplished by yourself! Miss Independent!!’

 

What more does she want?. She’s married to her University lover boy, who obviously loved her then and definitely still loves her now to have married her!, she’s pregnant for him, lives a steady life, has a steady job, What more does she want??.. A flashy car?, extravagant jewellery?, A fat bank account?.. Does she know that it comes with An insecure life?, A demeaning job, health problems, commitment issues? Family issues?.. The list is endless!! If she wants my life, she can have it!!

DISCLAIMER!

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This write-up is not a personal experience of the writer Mae Gregory. It is only a modified version of  true life experiences and thoughts as narrated to the writer by a close acquintance. Names have been changed for anonymity.

Now thats out of the way, Feel free to  check in on fridays for more ‘Confessions of A Lagos Call Girl’ .If this is your first time, you may want to check previous posts in this category. Remember to like and/or comment in the box below!
😀

Shoprite Blues…………

Please ignore the title! I didn’t know what to call it!.. Happy reading though!
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I resumed work late again today, I hurriedly went to my counter trying to straighten out my white shirt and red jacket, thanks to my dumb boyfriend, Ayo, I didn’t have the time to iron my uniform! We were always fighting! (Ode ni), today he asked me to borrow him #2000 Kini? Do I look like a mobile atm machine?! The last #5000 he borrowed from me still remains unpaid!!. Mttssscchhhew! Jobless thing!. Anyway, I wouldn’t let thoughts of Ayo disturb me this beautiful morning!. *rme*

‘Thank you dearie… This is the last time, I promise’ I said to Kelly, she didn’t even smile back!..I’m sure she was angry because for 4 days now I’ve been making her over stay her afternoon shift!. I could see Manager already looking at me with scorn. Surely he’ll take this one out of my salary. This man sef will just be forming iron man!!. Sighing, I got settled in, carrying out my daily cliché and boring job of cashing in items for customers and having to smile when I didn’t want to, Dealing with unbearably disgruntled customers patiently and politely. It was boring and most times annoying, Lord knows I hated it!, but working as a cashier in Shoprite put food on my table, so I was grateful.
I started thinking as I worked, trying to get my mind away from here, Papa and Mama in the village, my long over due house rent, the money I was owing Sikirat!,… Just then, I saw him far back of the line, sub consciously nodding his head to the music from his earpiece connected to his i phone, he wore a white TM lewin shirt and brown khaki shorts, light-skinned just as I liked!. His eyes were completely hazel brown, with Uti Nwachukwu’s body structure, the kind of man every girl wished!..
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He came up to the counter and said ‘Hi!’ revealing his perfectly white teeth. After I bagged his items, he said
‘Pretty girl like you shouldn’t be working here!.What’s the name?…I’m Ken’
(Blush) ‘I’m Moji’ I replied shyly.
‘You are really nice..And I like the way you go about your duties..’ ( Pause)
‘I know this ,į̸s awkward but please give me your digits, I’d like to call you some time’ Playing hard to get was no use! I was obviously drooling over this guy!! I gave him my number sharply. After work he called me and practically begged to pick me up. I said ‘no problem’. He came by and picked me up with his Chrysler jeep. The aura in the car was just perfect. I could perceive the nice smell of his Clive Christian perfume, everything about this guy was just perfect!!. We talked on the way home, he’s a doctor and stays in royal estate, Surulere, no ex wife, no girlfriends, no children out of wedlock!. I told him all about myself using the most polished english words I could think of.
‘I really like you Moji, You have a very pretty smile’ he said as we got to the front of my house gate. I blushed uncontrollably.
‘Thank you, Ken’ I said with a coy smile.
‘Please can we see again tomorrow?, I’d love to take you for breakfast, lunch or dinner…your pick!’
(Oh God!) ‘I’ll be on afternoon shift tomorrow, maybe we could meet for dinner?’ I said. He smiled with his thin lips
‘I hope your boyfriend wouldn’t mind’ he said pointing at Ayo who was standing in front of the car hands akimbo waiting for me.
Ye! This Oloshi boy wants to spoil my parole!
‘That’s my cousin, Ayo’ I denied immediately. He kissed me on the fore head and bid me goodbye. I got down and went inside, broke up with Ayo that night and told him to leave my flat. The next day of course, Dr Ken promptly picked me up by 7pm, he gave me a gold necklace, said he saw the necklace in a jewellery store and it reminded him of me ♥_♥ (24 karat sha!) I was so excited!!, We ate Mr Chan’s Chinese Cuisine that night!. That’s where our love story began.

We were so in love; he was always spoiling me with expensive gifts; loubitin shoes, versace dresses, bvlgari perfumes, took me shopping in Dubai,I even quit my job and he opened a shopping mall for me, we named it ‘Ken And Moji’ he built a house in the village for papa and mama, I moved in with him sef! Not the Surulere house though, we moved to Magodo. Soon enough, we were planning our wedding, number of kids we’d have. I was so overwhelmed with the way my fortune had become so good, everything was perfect! My bread had finally been buttered!! He kept on buying me loads and loads of extravagant gifts. The night after he got me a brand new hyuandi Sedan Elentra, he hugged me so tight, kissed me deeply, looked into my eyes and said
‘Baby, Baby,……… Please give me my change!’ (ò.̯Ó)
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HUH!!!??? I jolted back to reality to see him “Dr Ken” in front of me in his white shirt.. ‘Can I have my change?’ He said again. He was still in front of me with his bags of groceries.
I held my head and looked at the long queue waiting for me!.. JISOX! Oh My God!! I was day-dreaming again!!! (⌣́_⌣̀)

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