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IPOD SHUFFLE QUIZE! :D

As you can tell I’m extremely bored, so I did the ipod shuffle quize.
Rules
1. Put your music player on shuffle on all your music.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
Here goes nothing!!

1) Will it be okay?
Owl city: Fuzzy blue lights
2) How are you feeling today?
Ice prince: See myself B-)
3) How do your friends see you?
Don Moen: Give thanks
4) Will you get married?
Gunz ‘N Roses: Paradise way 🙂
5) What is your best friend’s theme song?
Omawunmi: Bottom belle (sweardown!)
6) What is the story of your life?
Owl city: Hospital flowers (JISOX!!! Totally!!!)
7) What was high school like?
Chris brown, Nick Minaj, lil Wayne, Rick Ross: Take it to the head
8) How can you get ahead in life?
Kirk Franklin: Imagine me
9) What is the best thing about your friends?
Chris Brown: Don’t Judge me (hehehe)
10) What is today going to be like?
Cece Winas: But for your grace
11) What is in store for this weekend?
Coldplay: Paradise 😀
12) What song describes you?
Pitbull: Castles made of sand (totally)
13) To describe your grandparents?
Jhybo: Run their mouth (LMAO)
14) How is your life going?
Cece Winas: Mercy Said No (true)
15) What song will they play at your funeral?
Chipmunk ft Chris Brown: Champion (Yaay!!)
16) How does the world see you?
Anointing fall on me
17) Will you have a happy life?
Kirk Franklin: It could’ve been me
18) What do your friends really think of you?
Wizkid: Thank You 😐
19) Do people secretly lust after you?
Coldplay: Clocks (._.)
20) How can I make myself happy?
2pac: Letter to my unborn child 😀
21) What should you do with your life?
Carly Rae Jepsen: Call Me maybe
22) Will you ever have children?
Iyana : Kukere (TF??)

LOL! That was fun!! You should try it!
Questions culled from
http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/gq00SMT/

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Stay calm and read…

Hey good looking!!. How’s the weekend going?…. Been a while right?. Mehn! I’ve had more drama in my life these past few days than ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’!!. Anyhoo, thank my God that I’m an overcomer!!. Can I get an AMEN?!!.

Well, emotions have been flying in and out of my house and I hope I’ll soon be able to make jokes of it all in the nearest future!.

Walking about the house aimlessly today, I started snooping around my parents’ documents and I stumbled on a small book of poems I wrote and compiled when I was thirteen (13)… LOL!. I titled the book ‘Can You Feel Me?’. Its actually nice. I found most of the poems funny, some what inspiring, and sweet but really novice too. But the funniest is the one you’re about to read. I called it ‘The Dream’. Stay calm and read.
😀

‘Oh I had a dream’
‘In such a conflicting realm’
‘All in my subconscious’
‘But playing in my reality’

‘Oh I had a dream’
‘Of Something I’m not familiar with’
‘But I know all about’
‘Oh how could that come around’

‘A reality happening with my eyes closed’
‘My mind quickly acting’
‘However my aching limbs are resting’
‘Oh how could that come about’

‘Beads of sweat trickling down my head’
‘My heart vigorously pounding’
‘My steps I’m fast retracing’
‘I bolt out with a loud “arrrrrhhhhhh”
‘I look around my dark room’
‘Although my brain seems full’
‘I can remember nothing!’

LMAO!!. I cannot even start to imagine what I was thinking when I wrote this!!. Some sort of early teenagehood gibberish!. Haha!. Thanks for sharing in my highlight of the day.
I was a learner shey?
Use the comment box, O jare!.

😀

OWAMBE!!!!

Saturdays are my favourite days , not just because its the weekend, but also because of  the numerous weddings that take place in lagos on this great day, the countless number of  happy people hopping around in thier colourful aso-ebi, the  road block on less busy streets, the blaring of music from loud speakers and the overall jolly  surrondings all make saturdays quite special. . Well yesterday was another saturday., and I’ll tell you how it went down at one of the Owambe parties.jjjjj

____________________________________________________________

I slept right through the church ceremony!. Yawning visibly as the couple recited thier vows. Not like I did it purposely, I could hardly concentrate on any part of the event because a raging hunger was drilling a hole in my stomach. I’m not one to show how hungry I am in public,no matter how bad, but for the past few days, the closest I’d come to good food was a bowl of  garri without sugar! And that was two days ago!!. There comes a time when you just get entirely broke in school and there’s just no escape route to avert hunger!! I’ve been there more than humanly possible, that’s why today I decided to follow my friend, Bidemi for a wedding. I was not invited, No, but was my friend invited either?.. Technically, yes, but reasonably no, hell no!. Her brother’s girlfriend’s aunty’s friend’s sister’s husband’s colleage at work was the person that baked the wedding cake!. At least, Bidemi was putting on the wedding colours, I on the other hand looked completely lost, putting on a trench coat with mismatched pants. Yes! I know I was looking extremely riddiculous, in short hideous is a better adjective, but what can I say, early morning hunger has a lot of side effects; blurry vision, colour blindness, dry mouth, fidgetting, did I mention blurry vision?. So there I sat, lost in this crowd of happy poeple, my stomach growling like an injured dog. Hour after hour I relied on the sour heated saliva coming out of my mouth while the worms in my stomach kept on roistering about and I was almost running out of spit, so you can imagine my relief when the pastor finally said “I now pronounce you husband and wife”. I was so happy that I screamed “Let somebody shout Alleluia!!!”, everybody turned and must have guessed I was a close aquintance of the newly weds.

Through the bustle and rush, geles and agbada, I sped off quickly and hijacked a seat at the forefront in the reception hall. Mehn! Dulling is a sin oh!. Gracefully but impatiently waiting for the event to kick off.  For some minutes, there was a slight confusion from the high table, followed by a scurry of guests and then the M.C announced something which I did not hear (You see, In my bid to get a front row seat, I had to bench down near the amplifier which was almost getting me deaf!). The annoucement had incited the geles and agbadas to move and turn their chairs in the opposite direction. Before I could realise the change of the sitting arrangement, I was seated at the back of the boisterious crowd!…

😀

(To be continued )

Thanks for reading, the comment and LIKE box are there for you!

😀

Zoned!

We get all the whinings of you guys about ‘how she zoned me’. Yes, we know, its a  messed up situation, when you have hidden feelings for a girl that asks you what colour of panties she should wear on a date (Am not the only girl who does that right? :$) and is entirely oblivious of the reasons why you hesitate to give her your ‘cute friend’s pin’, she wants to pillow fight with you and jump on you just to laugh and continue watching TV, meanwhile you are dealing with an uncontrollable hard-on, she comes back to weep on your shoulders about her broken heart and scream ‘All guys are LOSERS!!’ she makes you her emotional sanitary pad!,. The situation is entirely laughable!( Unless you are gay though, You enjoy that shii!) But I’m here to advice not to gloat over your misfortunes.But I want to put it to you before I go further, No girl put you in the friend zone, you put yourself there!!.
If you’re tired of being her heart wipe and be the one she really puts in her heart, I’ll tell you how
The first motive is to spend less time with her. You can’t be oogling around her all day and expect her to fall in love with yo ass!. Let her have some space, let her breathe, let her miss you and while you are MIA spread your arms and be a man!.Achieve things, do stuffs that’ll make her see the man in you.Then when she complains about you not being around, “make it up to her” and take her out not to your ususal spot, somewhere exquiste. But put a rein on your groins! It not time for sex yet!.
 
 
Don’t you ever ever ever ever ever express your feelings directly to her!. That’s a terrible idea, you end up getting answers like
“You’re like a brother to me”
“We need to be just friends”
“I already love you as a friend and I can share anything with you!”
“I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship”
“I’m on my period!” (Again, I’m I the only one who has said that? :$ :s 😦 )
Bruh, don’t do that! You’ll end up either being zoned deeper, or its going to get really awkward with te both of you.
 
Make her see that some other girls want you or you want them, preferably really hot chicks. Jog up her emotions a bit. Some harmless flirting with her friends will do, or commenting on some random girl’s booty or something.
 
Aha! Lest I forget, I hope she’s not in a relationship?. Dating someone else?, your friend? your brother?.. She is?… Nicca what are you doing here?. Google search ‘How to make a girl leave her boyfriend for me’. After she’s left her boyfriend and she zones you, please come back and and read this article!.
Let’s carry-on.
 
 
 
Now, you want to make her see you as more than her buddy but also the body she can lay on! 😉 Talk to her about sex, your fantasies and things like that. And you know how girls are moved by love and connections, talk to her about the difference between sex and love making!. Make her want you. goddammit!!
P.S: Don’t have sex with her if you are still ‘just a friend’. Thats going to put you in the friends with benefits zone. There ought to be a mutual understanding between you two.
 
Finally, make comments that enlighten her, tell her you’re jealous of how she smiled at the cab guy, ask her how you look, tell her sweet nothings, girls like it like that, make her understand where you are going to!.
 
So there goes!!!. Follow these sensibly, don’t act like a horny teenage boy and then you’ll get her professing love for you in no time!!.Out of the zone
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Thank me later!!
You can go now!!
Here’s the green lightgo_now
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

confessions of a lagos call girl

ALL THAT GLITTERS….

 

Four years ago, I was an undergraduate like most of these hot bloods around, young, fresh, having the best. living life to the full, clothes, shoes, make-up, hair, I had everything any girl my age would have ever wanted!.. And by any girl, I speak in particular reference to my roommate , Tosin. Tosin was an average girl from an average family, She had nothing to worry about but she made me her center cause of worry!. She just needed to have everything I had. Ha! I remember when I got my tattoo, she did everything in her might to get herself one too!!. Luckily for her, she got a temporary tattoo, because I heard her mother beat her to a pulp when she saw it.

Tosin!!. She made my last year in school fun. Always hounding me!. “Where did you buy that bag?, How much are the shoes?”. Tosin’s unfortunate boyfriend (now her husband!) She pressured the guy so much, I’m sure he started getting grey hairs!. “Look Caroline’s boyfriend bought her a Bold 2”, “We are still jumping cab when Caro’s boyfriend gave her his Camry!’ She would nag and nag!. I wish she knew I had more than one boyfriend giving me things. Then, all my roommates thought Alaska (if you still don’t know who Alaka is, you’re on a long thing o! My manager!!) was my boyfriend.

 

Anyway, three years went by like seconds, I graduated with a ‘pass’ (those bloody lecturers!) and Tosin graduated with a 2.1. We parted ways and I had never seen her again, till I saw her last Monday. Saw her in boutique. We exchanged pleasantries, normal stuff, but I could see her sizing me up, like she used to do back then in school; checking my jewellery, checking my dress, totally checking me out. I’m sure she delayed just so she could see my car!, Typical of Tosin!. Finally, before I left she said “Girl, you’re enjoying oh!, look at all you have accomplished by yourself! Miss Independent!!’

 

What more does she want?. She’s married to her University lover boy, who obviously loved her then and definitely still loves her now to have married her!, she’s pregnant for him, lives a steady life, has a steady job, What more does she want??.. A flashy car?, extravagant jewellery?, A fat bank account?.. Does she know that it comes with An insecure life?, A demeaning job, health problems, commitment issues? Family issues?.. The list is endless!! If she wants my life, she can have it!!

DISCLAIMER!

——————–
This write-up is not a personal experience of the writer Mae Gregory. It is only a modified version of  true life experiences and thoughts as narrated to the writer by a close acquintance. Names have been changed for anonymity.

Now thats out of the way, Feel free to  check in on fridays for more ‘Confessions of A Lagos Call Girl’ .If this is your first time, you may want to check previous posts in this category. Remember to like and/or comment in the box below!
😀

I just read a post from  ShockzWorld titled “The Days” and it brought back memories of TV back then. What I watched till my the NTA network news started. Not really so far back, but I terribly miss those 90s cartoons that are now extinct!!. Compared to all new cartoons, animations rather, (people are getting too lazy to draw!!. I miss those days when Mickey Mouse was still in drawing not that animated guy!), the old cartoons had been and would always be the best!. So in no particular order, I’m listing my favorite old cartoons.

1: MAGIC SCHOOL BUSImage

2: NINJA TURTLESImage

3:POPEYEImage

4:LOONEY TUNESImage

5:MICKEY MOUSE (The vintage one oh!)Image

6:VOLTRONImage

7: WOODY WOODPECKERImage

8: PINKY AND THE BRAINImage

9:TWEETY AND SYLVESTERImage

10: FREAKAZOIDImage

11:GHOSTBUSTERSImage

12:BIKER MICEImage

Let it be written that if you’ve not watched any of the above cartoons , you either had a very terrible childhood (I’m sorry for your loss), or you are too young to be on the internet!

Thats most of what I can remember, excluding the ones they still show on Boomerang like Johnny Bravo, Adams family, Scooby doo, Flingstones and a few others that I’m priviledged to watch. Otherwise, I’m stuck with Ben 10 omniverse and Kickbuttowski!.. Do you know any others that I skipped?? Image

The sound of the bata drums filled my ears

            As I moved my shoulders back and forth to the rhythm           

Each beat was the start of an energetic motion

Swift movement,  swirl of hips and upper body.

Vigorous as I jerked my shoulders,

Almost getting to a squat

Jerking my shoulders

And holding on to my Aso-Oke.

The crowd was relentless.

 ‘More!’ they screamed. ‘Give us more!!’

The first dancers had stopped to cheer me.

I could see they could now hear.

But it was not always so

They had not always accepted me.

The on-lookers were mesmerised.

My dance was unusual.

I did not go with the beat

Nothing like the ballerinas,

Neither was it a pantomime.

To them, I had lost my sanity.

Yes. I lost my sanity to the beat

The beat led me, it guided me

But they didn’t accept it.

Some called it ‘Some sort of African ritual’

The rest chose to tag me ‘mentally unstable’!

But I could hear it

“The distant beat of my father’s talking drum”

They could not hear it

-“The only way out is the way through”

I could not stop dancing

Even if my dance was different.

They needed to hear my beat

And they would dance with me.

It was not easy

Convincing the crowd, sidelining the stereotype

Sweat, pain, tension,

But then they began to hear it,

The distant beat.

The show had reached its peak,

The crowd did not hold back their joy

And applause was palpable.

But then it started to rain,

A heavy downpour.

And sometimes the thunder and lightening

Drowned the sound of the distant beat.

Ant the wind tried to blow me off my feet.

Then I heard it once more..

It was faint,

But the more I danced the more it got louder

The crowed was dismayed by my relentless effort

The high and low were there to watch

Children, men and women

They honoured me, my dance and my distant beat

Then the rain stopped

And I could see the halo

My dance was over

I moved my back in union with the last rhythm

I did not hear it anymore

I could dance no more.

But I was fulfilled

I had danced the dance I was meant to dance

My dance will not be forgotten

And someone else will follow the distant beat

Because I had followed my beat till the end

But now, after everyhting

It was time to meet with the lord of the dance.

_______________________________________________________

No! I’m not dying. I just wanted to write a memoir of my life, see how it pans out and understand how I see my life and life in full spectrum. Thanks for reading.

 

 

Tales of a Customer

Shit happens all the time right?!

Funny Face

A few months ago, I rushed out of the house to get some things from the supermarket nearby. Prior to this day, my sister had told me how randy the sales guys were, so when I went in my guard was up!. I put on my headsets and put on a stern face. After all, I went to the counter and then the guy at the counter was smiling and pointing at my crotch!!! Without thinking twice, I slapped him!! Well, it turned out that my fly was open and he wa just trying to inform me!. LOL! We are great friends now!!

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A few days ago was Thanksgiving day in the United States.I”m aware this is a celebration of life, family, lasting relationships and what you’re grateful/thankful f or. It is wonderful to look back over the year, clear your mind off the worries, stress, disappointments and setbacks, and just be happy and thankful for the good things and people in your life.

Sadly, this holiday is not acknowledged over here in Nigeria but I’m really excited that I have the opportunity to express what I’m being thankful for here!.

This year, I’m extremely thankful for my three (3) year old neices Oseimuohan and Oseiwe. In my sadest moments, their smiles and laughter have been my consolation,long hours of  babysiting them has given me enough time to duly reflect on my life and be better and all the injuries and sicknesses didnt break them, there are still very healthy. So there goes, I’m truly thankful for their lives.

My nieces

P.S; I just had a slice of turkey with them! 😀

 

OPPNAM GAGNUM STYLE!

 

‘Once upon a magical time, two beautiful princesses in ball gowns and tiaras and a fair babysitter gathered around to have an enchanted day…………’

 

This is not a story though, I was terribly bored while babysitting, so I and the girls decided to play dress up! 😀 GAGNUM STYLE!!     

 

Take a look! ImageImageImageImage 

 

And after all the playing and picture taking, they declared that fairytales do come true!!

 

P.S They love their babysitter… ME!

😀

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Maka ihu n'anya ihe Igbo n'ile na ihe ndi ozo di iche n'iche.

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