Tag Archive: LOL

Stay calm and read…

Hey good looking!!. How’s the weekend going?…. Been a while right?. Mehn! I’ve had more drama in my life these past few days than ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’!!. Anyhoo, thank my God that I’m an overcomer!!. Can I get an AMEN?!!.

Well, emotions have been flying in and out of my house and I hope I’ll soon be able to make jokes of it all in the nearest future!.

Walking about the house aimlessly today, I started snooping around my parents’ documents and I stumbled on a small book of poems I wrote and compiled when I was thirteen (13)… LOL!. I titled the book ‘Can You Feel Me?’. Its actually nice. I found most of the poems funny, some what inspiring, and sweet but really novice too. But the funniest is the one you’re about to read. I called it ‘The Dream’. Stay calm and read.

‘Oh I had a dream’
‘In such a conflicting realm’
‘All in my subconscious’
‘But playing in my reality’

‘Oh I had a dream’
‘Of Something I’m not familiar with’
‘But I know all about’
‘Oh how could that come around’

‘A reality happening with my eyes closed’
‘My mind quickly acting’
‘However my aching limbs are resting’
‘Oh how could that come about’

‘Beads of sweat trickling down my head’
‘My heart vigorously pounding’
‘My steps I’m fast retracing’
‘I bolt out with a loud “arrrrrhhhhhh”
‘I look around my dark room’
‘Although my brain seems full’
‘I can remember nothing!’

LMAO!!. I cannot even start to imagine what I was thinking when I wrote this!!. Some sort of early teenagehood gibberish!. Haha!. Thanks for sharing in my highlight of the day.
I was a learner shey?
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Shoprite Blues…………

Please ignore the title! I didn’t know what to call it!.. Happy reading though!

I resumed work late again today, I hurriedly went to my counter trying to straighten out my white shirt and red jacket, thanks to my dumb boyfriend, Ayo, I didn’t have the time to iron my uniform! We were always fighting! (Ode ni), today he asked me to borrow him #2000 Kini? Do I look like a mobile atm machine?! The last #5000 he borrowed from me still remains unpaid!!. Mttssscchhhew! Jobless thing!. Anyway, I wouldn’t let thoughts of Ayo disturb me this beautiful morning!. *rme*

‘Thank you dearie… This is the last time, I promise’ I said to Kelly, she didn’t even smile back!..I’m sure she was angry because for 4 days now I’ve been making her over stay her afternoon shift!. I could see Manager already looking at me with scorn. Surely he’ll take this one out of my salary. This man sef will just be forming iron man!!. Sighing, I got settled in, carrying out my daily cliché and boring job of cashing in items for customers and having to smile when I didn’t want to, Dealing with unbearably disgruntled customers patiently and politely. It was boring and most times annoying, Lord knows I hated it!, but working as a cashier in Shoprite put food on my table, so I was grateful.
I started thinking as I worked, trying to get my mind away from here, Papa and Mama in the village, my long over due house rent, the money I was owing Sikirat!,… Just then, I saw him far back of the line, sub consciously nodding his head to the music from his earpiece connected to his i phone, he wore a white TM lewin shirt and brown khaki shorts, light-skinned just as I liked!. His eyes were completely hazel brown, with Uti Nwachukwu’s body structure, the kind of man every girl wished!..

He came up to the counter and said ‘Hi!’ revealing his perfectly white teeth. After I bagged his items, he said
‘Pretty girl like you shouldn’t be working here!.What’s the name?…I’m Ken’
(Blush) ‘I’m Moji’ I replied shyly.
‘You are really nice..And I like the way you go about your duties..’ ( Pause)
‘I know this ,į̸s awkward but please give me your digits, I’d like to call you some time’ Playing hard to get was no use! I was obviously drooling over this guy!! I gave him my number sharply. After work he called me and practically begged to pick me up. I said ‘no problem’. He came by and picked me up with his Chrysler jeep. The aura in the car was just perfect. I could perceive the nice smell of his Clive Christian perfume, everything about this guy was just perfect!!. We talked on the way home, he’s a doctor and stays in royal estate, Surulere, no ex wife, no girlfriends, no children out of wedlock!. I told him all about myself using the most polished english words I could think of.
‘I really like you Moji, You have a very pretty smile’ he said as we got to the front of my house gate. I blushed uncontrollably.
‘Thank you, Ken’ I said with a coy smile.
‘Please can we see again tomorrow?, I’d love to take you for breakfast, lunch or dinner…your pick!’
(Oh God!) ‘I’ll be on afternoon shift tomorrow, maybe we could meet for dinner?’ I said. He smiled with his thin lips
‘I hope your boyfriend wouldn’t mind’ he said pointing at Ayo who was standing in front of the car hands akimbo waiting for me.
Ye! This Oloshi boy wants to spoil my parole!
‘That’s my cousin, Ayo’ I denied immediately. He kissed me on the fore head and bid me goodbye. I got down and went inside, broke up with Ayo that night and told him to leave my flat. The next day of course, Dr Ken promptly picked me up by 7pm, he gave me a gold necklace, said he saw the necklace in a jewellery store and it reminded him of me ♥_♥ (24 karat sha!) I was so excited!!, We ate Mr Chan’s Chinese Cuisine that night!. That’s where our love story began.

We were so in love; he was always spoiling me with expensive gifts; loubitin shoes, versace dresses, bvlgari perfumes, took me shopping in Dubai,I even quit my job and he opened a shopping mall for me, we named it ‘Ken And Moji’ he built a house in the village for papa and mama, I moved in with him sef! Not the Surulere house though, we moved to Magodo. Soon enough, we were planning our wedding, number of kids we’d have. I was so overwhelmed with the way my fortune had become so good, everything was perfect! My bread had finally been buttered!! He kept on buying me loads and loads of extravagant gifts. The night after he got me a brand new hyuandi Sedan Elentra, he hugged me so tight, kissed me deeply, looked into my eyes and said
‘Baby, Baby,……… Please give me my change!’ (ò.̯Ó)

HUH!!!??? I jolted back to reality to see him “Dr Ken” in front of me in his white shirt.. ‘Can I have my change?’ He said again. He was still in front of me with his bags of groceries.
I held my head and looked at the long queue waiting for me!.. JISOX! Oh My God!! I was day-dreaming again!!! (⌣́_⌣̀)

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