So I’ve been having this twitter crush for quite some time now. His avatars are always so cute. I even remember the first time we met on twitter. I tweeted ‘Its far better to be alone than to be in a relationship  than to be in an abusive relationship’, he RT’d it. So I decided to check his profile, funny enough I noticed that he tweeted the exact same thing and was now getting a whole lot of mentions (how annoying!!). So I sent him a DM ‘Hey, You stole my tweet!’ ‘Lol’ he replied, ‘I’m sorry, I just thought it was a nice tweet’.. Hmmmmm, Maybe because he had over 2000 followers , I thought it was ok for him to ‘steal my tweet’. Anyway, it didn’t end there, he tweeted at me ‘#nf @spanish_Jane #kfb’ I was actually excited to have him as my 211th follower!..I checked out his bio….impressive and his avi was so cute, he had this ‘fine boy feeling fresh’ look…and ever since that day I stalked him, his tweets, his avatars (I saved some of his pictures), and I even stalked his female followers, those ones he called ‘hun’, and the rest. Well, I guessed things were working in my favour because one day he asked for my pin to add me to his chat group which I did immediately….and you know the rest, he ‘set p’ actively and before you could say Jack Robinson, we were always calling each other and midnight texting. I was estatic the day we were finally supposed to meet. You see he stays in Ajah and I stay in Yaba so distance was a barrier, but finally that day, we decided to meet at Ooh La Lah .I got there quite early since it was closer to me and waited quietly while I kept on texting him to hurry. I was so excited my legs were shaking, finally he texted me that he was there, I kept my eyes fixed to the door, watching people walking in and out, I sighed as I  watched a very dark boy with badly matched clothes, trying to look like Wizkid I guessed, I shook my head and looked at my phone again. I called him this time. Where are you, joor?! . ‘I’m already inside’ came Emeka’s reply. At that moment, I started looking around hastily, my heart was racing with expectation. ‘Hang up, I think I’ve seen you..’ he said finally. I sat down and put on the cutest face ever. Just then, Wizkid wanna-be came to my table with a smile, my heart was beating so fast, ‘Hi’ he said… everything was happening so fast I could hardly breathe.. ‘Hi Jane,’ he said again’Its so good to finally see you!’. The wave of disappointment washed over me as if some one poured ice cold water on me. ‘ You don’t look like your pictures’ I finally managed to say.. He laughed, revealing a set of brown teeth, at that sight I lost my appetite for two days straight ‘Well, most of my pictures are mainly my cousin’s, but sometimes I use my picture, like my dp of last night was my picture, don’t you remember?’.. Yes I remembered, I thought it was your ugly friend!!…’Oh?’ was the only thing I could say.. He tried to hug me but I opted for a handshake while I looked around and hoped that none knew me there.
      Well as you would guess, the ‘date’ ended quite early because I was tired of listening to all his gbagauns and his mallam perfume was choking me. I got home and narrated my story to my sister who still laughs at me till today. I guessed it served me right. I and Emeka still gist sometimes on twitter, I think he got the message, he still uses his cute cousin’s pictures as his avatar. I’m sure he has lots of ‘twives’ (twitter wives). I wish they all knew that his avatar  looks nothing like him.. Absolutely no resemblance with the real person!.