Tag Archive: women


Shoprite Blues…………

Please ignore the title! I didn’t know what to call it!.. Happy reading though!
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I resumed work late again today, I hurriedly went to my counter trying to straighten out my white shirt and red jacket, thanks to my dumb boyfriend, Ayo, I didn’t have the time to iron my uniform! We were always fighting! (Ode ni), today he asked me to borrow him #2000 Kini? Do I look like a mobile atm machine?! The last #5000 he borrowed from me still remains unpaid!!. Mttssscchhhew! Jobless thing!. Anyway, I wouldn’t let thoughts of Ayo disturb me this beautiful morning!. *rme*

‘Thank you dearie… This is the last time, I promise’ I said to Kelly, she didn’t even smile back!..I’m sure she was angry because for 4 days now I’ve been making her over stay her afternoon shift!. I could see Manager already looking at me with scorn. Surely he’ll take this one out of my salary. This man sef will just be forming iron man!!. Sighing, I got settled in, carrying out my daily cliché and boring job of cashing in items for customers and having to smile when I didn’t want to, Dealing with unbearably disgruntled customers patiently and politely. It was boring and most times annoying, Lord knows I hated it!, but working as a cashier in Shoprite put food on my table, so I was grateful.
I started thinking as I worked, trying to get my mind away from here, Papa and Mama in the village, my long over due house rent, the money I was owing Sikirat!,… Just then, I saw him far back of the line, sub consciously nodding his head to the music from his earpiece connected to his i phone, he wore a white TM lewin shirt and brown khaki shorts, light-skinned just as I liked!. His eyes were completely hazel brown, with Uti Nwachukwu’s body structure, the kind of man every girl wished!..
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He came up to the counter and said ‘Hi!’ revealing his perfectly white teeth. After I bagged his items, he said
‘Pretty girl like you shouldn’t be working here!.What’s the name?…I’m Ken’
(Blush) ‘I’m Moji’ I replied shyly.
‘You are really nice..And I like the way you go about your duties..’ ( Pause)
‘I know this ,į̸s awkward but please give me your digits, I’d like to call you some time’ Playing hard to get was no use! I was obviously drooling over this guy!! I gave him my number sharply. After work he called me and practically begged to pick me up. I said ‘no problem’. He came by and picked me up with his Chrysler jeep. The aura in the car was just perfect. I could perceive the nice smell of his Clive Christian perfume, everything about this guy was just perfect!!. We talked on the way home, he’s a doctor and stays in royal estate, Surulere, no ex wife, no girlfriends, no children out of wedlock!. I told him all about myself using the most polished english words I could think of.
‘I really like you Moji, You have a very pretty smile’ he said as we got to the front of my house gate. I blushed uncontrollably.
‘Thank you, Ken’ I said with a coy smile.
‘Please can we see again tomorrow?, I’d love to take you for breakfast, lunch or dinner…your pick!’
(Oh God!) ‘I’ll be on afternoon shift tomorrow, maybe we could meet for dinner?’ I said. He smiled with his thin lips
‘I hope your boyfriend wouldn’t mind’ he said pointing at Ayo who was standing in front of the car hands akimbo waiting for me.
Ye! This Oloshi boy wants to spoil my parole!
‘That’s my cousin, Ayo’ I denied immediately. He kissed me on the fore head and bid me goodbye. I got down and went inside, broke up with Ayo that night and told him to leave my flat. The next day of course, Dr Ken promptly picked me up by 7pm, he gave me a gold necklace, said he saw the necklace in a jewellery store and it reminded him of me ♥_♥ (24 karat sha!) I was so excited!!, We ate Mr Chan’s Chinese Cuisine that night!. That’s where our love story began.

We were so in love; he was always spoiling me with expensive gifts; loubitin shoes, versace dresses, bvlgari perfumes, took me shopping in Dubai,I even quit my job and he opened a shopping mall for me, we named it ‘Ken And Moji’ he built a house in the village for papa and mama, I moved in with him sef! Not the Surulere house though, we moved to Magodo. Soon enough, we were planning our wedding, number of kids we’d have. I was so overwhelmed with the way my fortune had become so good, everything was perfect! My bread had finally been buttered!! He kept on buying me loads and loads of extravagant gifts. The night after he got me a brand new hyuandi Sedan Elentra, he hugged me so tight, kissed me deeply, looked into my eyes and said
‘Baby, Baby,……… Please give me my change!’ (ò.̯Ó)
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HUH!!!??? I jolted back to reality to see him “Dr Ken” in front of me in his white shirt.. ‘Can I have my change?’ He said again. He was still in front of me with his bags of groceries.
I held my head and looked at the long queue waiting for me!.. JISOX! Oh My God!! I was day-dreaming again!!! (⌣́_⌣̀)

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The Interrogation……

I looked sternly into her eyes, She narrowed her eyes and shot me an equally stern look. I could see she was not ready to give up. ‘Answer me!’ I yelled shaking her as if I wanted the answer to fall out of her shoulders!. She shrugged as if my banter had no effect on her. I looked from side to side, exasperated!! This interrogation had gotten way out of my control!!. Maybe it was time to use more violent means. Maybe. I grabbed her by the elbow and made her sit on the chair, then I held her hands. ‘Don’t play with me, young lady!!. I want the truth and I want it fast!! Now speak!!’. I could hear the echo of my own voice in my head, the force I used to shout was now causing me a terrible headache. This had been the most cumbersome job in all my years. She laughed sarcastically as if sensing my frustration!. Yes! I was totally frustrated and at the point of giving up!. But no!!. I won’t let her win and keep the information!. Now is time for violent means, I thought. I looked at her, she closed her mouth as if to say that she wasnt going to tell me. I shook my head, ‘You leave me no choice!’ I said, rushed in and brought out the hostage. I could see, she thought it was bluff, a coy smile was dancing around her lips. I said ‘You remember Mcstuffins?,’ Pulling up the head of the hostage so she could see.’ She going to pay for this!. Are ready to talk now?’ She folded her arms carelessly. I laughed now. With one fast movement, I took Mcstuffins’ arm up twisted it and broke it!!. Her eyes widened!! Oh, that got to her. ‘Talk!’ I urged her as I held up the other hand ready break it, Her strong face had now softened to a pitiable surrender, but she was still not talking!. Hastily, I yanked, twisted and pulled at the other hand till, I was sure it was broken!. ‘Are you going to tell me now?’ I sensed a little resistance but I could also sense her fear, but she still was not talking!!. ‘We end this now!!’ I yelled, grabbing the hostage’s neck, ready to finish this up with one fast twist!.
‘No!!’ She said finally, ‘Please don’t!. I will tell you! But you have to meet my demands first, I’m sure you know of the usual settlement’.
‘Yes, I’m aware.’ Reach for a bag and toss it at her. ‘Now tell me! This information is really important to me!!. Who put relaxer in my ice cream cup and replaced it in the fridge?!’
‘It was not me, It was the maid that did it!’ Came the reply from Joan my 5 year old niece. I sighed!. Imagine the nonsense!! It was not even her! Twenty wasted minutes of my life!! Matilda will hear from me!. Well, I sat down on the chair and watched as Joan struggled with her settlement, a bag containing, Ribena, 2 packets of m&m and a carton of Dr Jacobs Crackers. I sighed as I fixed the broken parts of the ‘hostage’ back together, Mcstuffins, her rubber doll.. Well, That’s just another babysitting activity!.

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October: Breast Cancer Month

Breast cancer is a cancer that starts in the tissues of the breast.
Many breast cancers are sensitive to the hormone estrogen. This means that estrogencauses the breast cancer tumor to grow. Such cancers have estrogen receptors on the surface of their cells. They are called estrogenreceptor-positive cancer or ER-positive cancer.
Some women have what is called HER2-positive breast cancer. HER2 refers to a gene that helps cells grow, divide, and repair themselves. When cells (including cancer cells)have too many copies of this gene, they growfaster. Historically, women with HER2-positivebreast cancer have a more aggressive disease and a higher risk that the disease willreturn (recur) than women who do not have this type. However, this may be changing with specifically targeted treatments against HER2.
Causes, incidence, and risk factors
Over the course of a lifetime, 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer.
Risk factors you cannot change include:
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Age and gender — Your risk of developing breast cancer increases as you get older. Most advanced breast cancer cases are found in women over age 50. Women are 100 times more likely to get breast cancer than men.
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Family history of breast cancer — You may also have a higher risk for breast cancer if you have a close relative who has had breast, uterine, ovarian, or colon cancer. About 20 – 30% of women with breast cancer have a family history of the disease.
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Genes — Some people have genes that makethem more likely to develop breast cancer. The most common gene defects are found in the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. These genesnormally produce proteins that protect you from cancer. If a parent passes you a defective gene, you have an increased risk for breast cancer. Women with one of thesedefects have up to an 80% chance of getting breast cancer sometime during their life.
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Menstrual cycle — Women who got their periods early (before age 12) or went through menopause late (after age 55) have an increased risk for breast cancer.
Other risk factors include:
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Alcohol use — Drinking more than 1 – 2 glasses of alcohol a day may increase your risk for breast cancer.
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Childbirth — Women who have never had children or who had them only after age 30have an increased risk for breast cancer. Being pregnant more than once or becoming pregnant at an early age reduces your risk of breast cancer.
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DES — Women who took diethylstilbestrol (DES) to prevent miscarriage may have an increased risk of breast cancer after age 40.This drug was given to the women in the 1940s – 1960s.
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Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) — You have a higher risk for breast cancer if you have received hormone replacement therapy with estrogen for several years or more. Obesity — Obesity has been linked to breast cancer, although this link is controversial. The theory is that obese women produce more estrogen, which can fuel the development of breast cancer.
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Radiation — If you received radiation therapy as a child or young adult to treat cancer of the chest area, you have a much higher risk for developing breast cancer. The younger you started such radiation andthe higher the dose, the higher your risk — especially if the radiation was given during breast development.
Breast implants, using antiperspirants, and wearing underwire bras do not raise your risk for breast cancer. There is no evidence ofa direct link between breast cancer and pesticides.
The National Cancer Institute provides an online tool to help you figure out your risk of breast cancer. See: http://www.cancer.gov/bcrisktool
Symptoms
Early breast cancer usually does not cause symptoms. This is why regular breast exams are important. As the cancer grows, symptoms may include:
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Breast lump or lump in the armpit that is hard, has uneven edges, and usually does not hurt
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Change in the size, shape, or feel of the breast or nipple — for example, you may have redness, dimpling, or puckering that looks like the skin of an orange
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Fluid coming from the nipple — may be bloody, clear to yellow, green, and look like pus

Please stay aware!. Go for regular check ups.

As timeless as this question is, it still remains one of the unanswered controversies in the aspect of dating and psychology. What do men really really want?. Let’s over look the general mis guided conception that all men want is sex! Personally I believe that only shallow minded men look for just sex in a relationship. But taking it in deep and trying to get to the core of a man’s want is hard. Unlike us women, our intentions are laid bare ranging from demanding gentleness or trust, or care, it all boils down to the same thing; a woman wants security! Well, we are here to talk of men!. After a series of failed relationships and a recent group discussion, I dare to try and state what I think men want.
First of all, I think what a man wants in a relationship is a safe place to relax, stress free, nag-free, away from te facade of the world and just be himself with his woman.
Men don’t want their relationships to be a second job of some sort! Men want a place where they can be accepted for who they are and for who they are not! Men want consistency and routine, because that is what relaxes them. ”Same place, same thing” calms them down. Yes, they like change and excitement from time to time, but what they really want in our primary relationship is a place where they can be at peace, where wedon’t have to have our “fight or flight” response triggered.
They want a safe landing zone after all the soaring around. They want to know that there’s someone at home waiting to listen to all their exciting experiences and just be there for them!.
In as much as men don’t want to multitask and they don’t want to speak in the language of feelings. They’re not built to do these things optimally. They can do them, and of course, sometimes must, but they’re not designedto do them very well.
Keep in mind that a man will always be a man though. This is just a personal view on what I think men want. You think otherwise?

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I never really saw anything wrong in being in a relationship with an older man. Despite the common distaste the general public has, I personally saw no harm in dating a man older than me (P.S. Not for money though, but plain mutual feelings). Anyway, all that changed when I got my experience.
I was 20 years old when I met Lamide. He had come to unwind with some of his friends that Friday night at Aphro Lounge club. As fate would have it, I was also there with my friends. Naturally, I didn’t even notice him until he sent a bottle of champagne to my table with the fireworks and all. Some minutes after that, he came over by himself. To be honest, at first I was sure he thought I was a call girl, so I immediately told him bluntly ‘No! I’m not a call girl, I will not sleep with you, I don’t want your money!’. He smiled and asked me my name; ‘Mary’ I replied. He introduced himself, he said he liked my shoes and before I knew it, we were talking about Loubitin, Gene Bendi, Predictions!. Anyway after a few more drinks I gave him my digits and left the club. So, that was how our love story began. Surprisingly, Lamide never demanded anything sexual from me. It was a very normal relationship only more mature than any other relationship I had been in, ofcourse what did I expect Lamide was 49, divorced wife in Miami with legal custody of 3kids!!. We always got ‘the look’ when we went out together. My friends were always asking me questions and all but I chose to blindly ignore. (Love is blind you know) . Anyways 7months into our relationship, I was the one now asking questions. Not about him, no, but about us! Our future. What next?!. Well, I’m not one to propose to a guy but I had to hold the reins here and ask Lamide about his plans for our marriage and family life. He burst out laughing at first but when he saw that I was serious, he apologised. Well, he told me the truth and admitted that he didn’t have plans for our ‘future’. He said he had lived his life, two boys and a girl with a huge bank account was a life well lived!. To him, we were two adults in a mature relationship enjoying the companionship of each other!!. Reactionary shock caused me to break up with him on the spot!. Anyway, that was 2years ago. Now I stick to dating guys my own age or within my age group.
I obviously do not hold any sort of believe that any relationship with men in your parents age range can work! Except you are ready to be his hand bag, or a platform for him to try to regain his youth!.Little or no benefits come out from such. But of course, this is still based on personal evaluation!. Amiable reader, what do you think? Dating an older man, is it advisable or do you agree with me?

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A wedding lasts only a day, but marriage lasts forever. Yes, I am aware that you and your partner are totally in love and can’t wait to get married, however, marriage is not as simple as it sounds, Its a whole different ball game from courting or dating. It is therefore pertinent that the couple should take time to discuss the underlisted before they recite their vows.
1. Your Home. Even if you’re already shacked up, you won’t live in that second-floor rental unit forever and it’s important to discuss the type of home you envision sharing together in the future. Do you want to live in a condo? A house with a yard and a two-car garage? Would you consider moving to a different city? Will your husband get a “man-tuary?” How many times a month will you entertain?
2. Religion. Whether you’re an interfaith couple or you share the same beliefs, you have to discuss the role of religion in your relationship. While your families may try to influence the role of religion in the lives of your children, especially, it’s important “that the two of you decide how you will practice your faith and train your children” before the wedding, says Dr. Sago. Will you both take thechildren to church (or to synagogue or the mosque)? What will you do if your child wants to experience other faiths?
3. Children. Before you even agree to marry someone, you need to make sure that you’re on the same page re: offspring. Do you both want to have children? If so, how many? If you can’t have biological children, would you consider adoption or in vitro fertilization? Do you share the same discipline philosophy?
4. Sex. Being intimate is an important part of a married couple’s relationship. But having sex isn’t enough to guarantee marital intimacy: talking about sex is also important.”You need to feel that you can trust telling your partner your sexual needs,” says Dr. Sago. Do you feel comfortable sharing your desires with your partner? How many times aweek do you expect to have sex in your marriage? Are you happy with your sex life? What do you love about your sex life? What do you wish was different?
5. Money. Every couple has their own way of managing their finances. While there’s no right or wrong method, Dr. Sago warns against keeping separate bank accounts, unless you also have a shared one. “It’s not good to have anything but ‘ours’ in a marriage,” he says and separate bank accounts create a sense of “mine” and”yours.” Will you combine all of your finances?Put a certain percentage in a joint account and keep the rest in personal accounts? Or will you keep your finances totally separate? Do you have similar spending habits? If not, how will you deal with these differences throughout your marriage? Who will be in charge of paying the bills?
6. Communication. That’s right–you gotta communicate about communication! If you have communication issues now, then it’s going to be very difficult to work through bumps in the road once a mortgage and children come along. “Arguments never solve a problem,” says Dr. Sago. Rather than raising your voices when you disagree on something, he recommends that you sit down across from each other and discuss your feelings regarding the issue. It’s important that each spouse listens to and considers the other person’s feelings, rather than focusing on who is right or wrong. What are your perpetual issues? Do you have the same approaches to communication? Are there certain communication techniques that work better for you?
After these have been put into considerations and duly agreed upon, then you can now jointly and happily enter into marital ties without fear!!.
Happy Married Life!!!! 😉

A Listening Ear……

The beauty of listening

 

 

 

One of the things i love doing is taking part in group discussions on affection and happiness. It is truly deeply rewarding. It is awesome how much learning happens during these sessions when we listen intensely both to ourselves and to the intimate confessions of others. Last week, i spoke with one of my personal mentors and he analysed how human beings face challenges in focusing attention. It’s amazing to note that practically all relationship books contain a communication segment. Solid relationships are built on communication. However, one important aspect of communication which we tend to over look is LISTENING? Effective communication begins from having the same language of communication. It’s also not easy to be able to calm a troubled mind in order to absorb information despite noise and interruption from the surroundings. In addition, trying to figure out answers while a person is still speaking is a distraction. During this past weekend, on saturday around 2:30pm,  my older sister was settled in front of the tvwatching her suspense movie, when there was a knock on the door and her friend w alked in without her husband (this was strage because they always visited together). After exchange of greetings,  the lady started a conversation about how  her husband was out of town for a training.  To her utmost shock,when the movie ended, my sister turned  turned to her and asked why she didn’t come with her husband as usual.  She had to repeat the whole story.  Listening is not only limited to spoken words, but also involves emotional listening. To be a good listener, you must pay attention to eye contact, facial expressions, voice and all necessary gestures. Always note that right listening leads to accurate response.

1: Be Real.
2: Be Independent And Responsible.
3: Treat Others The Way You Would Want To Be Treated. Be Considerate.
4: Do Not Insult, Gossip or Slander People Unnecessarily.
5: Be Knowledgeable, Aware, Willing To Learn and Open To Personal Development.
6: Choose Your Friends.
7: Choose Your Words; Know When To Talk And When Not To.
8: Define Yourself Always With A Neat And Dignifying Outfit.
9: Avoid Desperate Behaviour. Know When To Ask For Help.
10: Avoid Getting Caught Up With Trends. Create Your Own Persona.

                                                                                         

                                                                                                                  xo; sticky fingers

BEAUTY IS IN YOUR OWN EYES!!!!

BEAUTY IS IN YOUR OWN EYES!!!!.

Hmmmmmm, One of the greatest things of life which girls continually forget and do not realize how greatly this affects their every day living, is that you as an individual determine whether or not you are beautiful. Confused?..Let me break it down. What ever you tell yourself when you look in the mirror determines the way you will portray yourself in the presence of others. You hold the key to your beauty. The earlier you realize that the better for you.

  These are basically the ways to take charge of your beauty:

                  NEVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER GIRLS especially models, movie stars or the sort. A lot of girls are trapped in their shells because they constantly compare themselves with others.”Oh look at her legs, mine are not that smooth, I wish I had the colour of her hair, and her cheekbones!!,….blah blah blah” As often as you do this you continue to diminish your beauty esteem. Instead compare your look of yesterday with your look of today. Strive to look prettier than you did yesterday.

                  ACCEPT THE THINGS YOU CAN’T CHANGE except pimples,bad breath, yellow teeth, dirty clothes, you van change all of that. But things like your natural complexion, the size of your nose, small head, extra large eyes are the way you are and the way you must be. Don’t feel bad for yourself rather find out what suits you best with your physical short comings.

                 ALWAYS LOOK GOOD..And by good, I mean really god.Even to the gym or the market, a little lip gloss would not hurt or some powder with nicely matched clothes and a cute bag and you are good to go!.Remember, dont wear a dress just because it ‘Kim Kardashian’ wore it. It may look super sexy on her but on you, it may be disastrous. Just make sure you have on the right clothes, with the right colour fit to your complexion.

                 FINALLY, TAKE CRITICISMS WITH UTMOST GOOD FATE. Of course, a lot people will write you off. ‘Look, your legs are so big” or ‘You look funny in that skirt’.., as long as you feel and know deep down that you love what you are putting on, you can go anywhere with you head up high and a big smile on your face.

  Remember to always be comfortable with what you wear and who you are,Its Your Life!

                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                          xo; sticky fingers

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